Exchanging a Cross for a Crown....

Today's writing is serious because I feel very, very serious. Two very close friends have called me FIRST from hospitals.... to let me know that they have each just been told that they are now on 'HOSPICE'. Both are devoted Christians. One is a 90 year old, darling old time Preacher since age of 17 years old...he's seen it all as they say. He wrote a precious book that's in Baylor Un. library of his years as the pastor for a little country church near Lake Whitney, Texas. He's been a pastor, horse trader, fieldhand, plow pusher, MID-WIFE, trucker, but always a Gospel teller and lover of people with tons of jokes to cheer the world. (I might also add...this dear one was also a great College Professor, Founder and Executive Director of the Central Texas Retired Pastors and Missionaries Conference and is presently one of the lead Bass singers for the Baylor University 100 member Senior Adult Choir that perform formal concerts throughout Texas each year....) "a happy heart doeth good'

Both of these dear friends somehow feel that I have a close connection to our Heavenly Father, because HE pulled me through with miracles to defeat deadly cancer TWICE. But my 'Prayer Warriors' and His science/equipment/technology... have me alive and well today.

Through those trying, horrific months, one year ago, HE...and ONLY HE...allowed me the witnessing power and GRACE to lead others (& myself) to a closer walk, knowledge (knowing/silence) and wisdom of 'How Great God really is"...and how that he really does send 'peace beyond ALL human understanding'. No, it doesn't take away carnality, (sad to say) but it bring peace and joy in place of a brokenness.... that cannot be explained or known...until YOU ARE THERE.

I still have many health problems...but hey, I am alive...and feel joyful and still desire to please ONLY Him...and to help others as well... that brokenly CALL me on the phone virtually wanting me to tell them my story---so that THEY too can be hopeful and find peace in the worst of un-peace-able circumstance...Facing death.
Sometimes---it scares me---at what words that God PUTS INTO MY MOUTH....my writings, cards and poems... that somehow seem to help those in Hospice. (a word that I can't stand...sorry)

Shakingly...but most humbly, I have to fully give All honor/praise to God...because the real me...wants to run....run as fast as I can...to hide from the truth---for them and for me.

Yes, I believe fully & emphatically in God's word...but my carnal side simply does not want to accept the fact that I am not going to SEE my friend for very long down here. We are simple humans, weak, weary & worn...especially in Senior years.

Last year when I was told to 'prepare'...get things in order....er er....to die...it was shocking....because like both of my friends today....I also FELT GOOD....I thought that I was Okay. Denial. (every emotion in the book...comes out in the beginning, believe me and it has zilch to do with 'what level of a Christian that you are'...shock takes over and Wow...does Satan LOVE stuff like that...especially if you are a Christian---he wants to beat you to a pulp and spit in your face, laughing.

As stated...like both of my friends....I had 100's upon 100's praying for me, church after church because as missionaries we are consultants for over 130 churches in Central Texas---therefore, they all put me on their prayer listings. PTL

All this is to say....to encourage others...that even tho my carnal side was alive and well....and even tho satan also was alive and well on the attacks daily-----still God brought that Revolutionary PEACE beyond understanding, Hope when things were so hopeless.

Also during this period of time and out of love for my husband and concern for those who constantly called and cared...God gave me the wisdom/strength/knowledge to sit down prepare all legal matters...my funeral, grave placement....
and yes...through many, many tears...but always followed by a feeling from HIM....'well done, my good and faithful servant'.

Why, because it was saving somebody else....a ton of stress, brokenness & worry when they didn't deserve anymore troubles in their life.

Also,since, as the youngest child in my own family....many years ago I was given the duty by my own parents to 'take care of our FAMILY CEMETERY plots'...naturally, I had to make plans for someone to take over that duty after I was gone. So I chose my own place beside my Daddy/Mom... I also got someone else to take over 'my duty' in case of my death.

(Thank God, prayers were answered, I am alive and I didn't have to use any of this...but that step did take care of necessary and important business matters that would NOT have been done otherwise.)

During this process, as morbid as it might seem...God truly is there. God whispered an epitaph for me...because I like poetry....it was simple. "Here I lay my burden down...exchanging a Cross for a Crown"


****** This is what I pray for BOTH of friends today, who are now suddenly in HOSPICE. Lord, please pick up their pain/burden and cross of sorrow...give them their rightly deserved CROWNS for tomorrow.

A CROSS for a CROWN....Jesus did that for us...

He went to a horrible, wooden cross with blood and a pain filled body... beyond belief and grief....

BUT HE AROSE to wear the CROWN OF "KING OF KINGS" FOREVER.
We can too...... We WILL too!!!

*********************************************************************************